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Healing Scarred Hearts: A Family’s Story of Addiction, Loss, and Finding Light, by Susán Hoemke, is a timely book every parent should read.

It is time for parents and educators to get better at learning how to spot teens who are falling through the cracks. There is a drug epidemic in our nation and it doesn’t look like you think. When I talk about drug addicts, I picture grown men and women living in the dark corners of some far-off town, and not our quiet suburban neighborhood or the affluent high school up North. We never think of middle school, but as the author, Susán Hoemke, learned first-hand, addiction begins innocuously, one little decision at a time, in the very schools and neighboring homes we blindly trust. It can begin much earlier than you think.

For their son, Hayden, addiction became a living nightmare. His journey was one that took the whole family down a path they never imagined. From calls from the police, drug busts at school, court dates, hearings, lawyers, and multiple rehabilitation centers, Susán tried to keep her son above water. The pain and suffering bled throughout the whole family, leaving no one unaffected. Hayden may have been the one using drugs, but addiction overshadowed the whole family. The agony and pain was compounded when Hayden overdosed at the young age of twenty two.

Healing Scarred Hearts is both a sobering warning and valuable handbook for parents raising teens in today’s culture. Misconceptions about what an addiction looked like and how one got to that point as well as ignorance to drug culture kept Hayden’s parents in the dark. Many of Hayden’s changes in character were attributed to puberty, transitioning to junior high school and teen moodiness. Only in hindsight, were Susán and her husband Carl, able to see the many clues they missed in their son’s changing behaviors.

This is a book I plan on reading my own teen sons. The story is honest, gripping and told in a simple straight forward manner. It is never overly graphic, but still heart wrenching. It is important for our children to see and understand the many small steps that changed the direction of a young man’s life. The time is now with your young students, Hayden’s introduction to illegal and legal substances happened as early as the seventh grade.

Hayden never set out to become an addict. He was a fun, witty child and loved by his parents and siblings. The Hoemke Family was like many of us, driving kids to practice, saving for braces and cheering from the sidelines. They weren’t who they thought could be the face of addiction. The heart of this book is to educate parents about the early signs of drug use; the signs they were naïve to, the behaviors they excused. Through their extensive work in rehab with their son’s recovery programs and counseling they learned about ways that they enabled their son to continue using under the radar.

Susán also shares about the shame that overwhelmed her at times. She feared that her family was tainted, outcast, because of their struggles. This book serves as a reminder to those of us who see and know families that are struggling. A reminder to open our ears and hearts to parents that need support in the thick of it. Also, how we can do a better job of reaching out to the siblings of struggling families. Just reading about all of the mandatory meetings that the author was driving her son to; in order to keep him from prison, was exhausting. Her younger children suffered in ways that are unimaginable. I think about how her burden could have been lifted by a few faithful friends.

So often, we suffer alone, because we think our troubles are too much for others. Susan’s story was a reminder that as a body of believers and community members, we need to do a better job of hearing the pain of others and allowing ourselves to accept brokenness as a part of the human condition. Church is often a place full of smiling faces and well-dressed kids, but behind the smiles our friends and neighbors are suffering with burdens we could help to carry. Unfortunately, when people need their community the most, shame drives them away. This book made me ask, “How can I do a better job reaching out to the families I know are struggling in my life? How can I better equip my kids to respond when they hear the honest struggles of teens that they know?” These are a few of the important discussions that came about from reading Healing Scarred Hearts.

We are in the grips of an opioid crisis in many towns across America today. In some cities it has reached epidemic levels. Deaths of beautiful young men and women are happening everyday. As parents, we cannot afford to turn a blind eye to the subject of drug use. We cannot think that if we insulate and guard, it will be enough. We must educate ourselves and our kids as well. Healing Scarred Hearts is a great place to begin.

-Product review by Amber Smith, The Old Schoolhouse® Magazine, LLC, October, 2018