5 Common Homeschooling Fears & Why You Can Stop Worrying About Them
If you are a new or prospective homeschooler, you may fall into worrying about some of the common fears that parents face when they decide to homeschool. These fears often come about because of things you’ve heard others say about homeschooling or because you’ve known homeschooling families that seem to have problems that you want to avoid. Some of these common fears can be put to rest with a little information.
The Fear of Having “Unsocialized” Children
Yes, it’s the common accusation you’ll hear about homeschooling. “But, if you homeschool, your children won’t be socialized. The root of this fear comes from a basic preconception about what socialization really means.
The dictionary defines “socialization” as to associate or mingle sociably with others. If you further follow this definition with a look at what “sociable” means, you’ll come across a meaning of characterized by agreeable companionship.
Now, I’ve been a teacher, both in public and private schools. And I can promise you that most elementary school playgrounds or high school cafeterias do not have children mingling in “agreeable companionship.” Instead, I often heard squabbling and disagreements and arguing and fighting. Although some of the kids enjoyed hanging out, many were not- by the above definition- experiencing socialization. And because there were few teachers compared to the number of students, we couldn’t be everywhere all the time teaching socialization skills.
In most homeschool families, children are being taught socialization skills- not by being thrown into the mix with same aged peers but by being exposed to a variety of people of a variety of ages in many different circumstances. Most homeschoolers are involved in some type of activity outside of home- or many activities outside of home. Whether it’s church or co-op or a sports activity, homeschooled kids are learning socialization skills by being in situation where they can participate in activities with a variety of people of different ages. And, because homeschool families typically have a smaller teacher to student ratio than most classrooms, kids get the needed attention to teach them how to behave in social situations instead of being thrown into the situation and expected to figure it out.
The Fear of “Curriculum Gaps”
I often hear new homeschooling moms expressing the fear that their kids might have curriculum gaps- subjects that fall through the cracks and are never covered in your homeschool. I think this is an especially common fear if you’re trying to develop your own curriculum with unit studies or by piecing together different materials.
The fact is that, yes, you will have gaps. The truth is that students in “real school” have gaps- often many gaps. Traditionally schooled children rarely ever finish a textbook. Schools change curriculum, and one class ends up skipping or repeating information. A student has a bad teacher and basically loses a year because of struggling all year. There will be gaps whether you’re homeschooling or sending students away to school.
The point is that school isn’t about learning the entire body of knowledge there is to know in the whole world. That’s impossible. No school can accomplish that. School should be about learning how to learn. If you teach your child how to learn while exposing him to common knowledge that will help him to function more easily in real life, you’ve been successful. If he knows how to learn, he can then learn anything at any time to cover for any “gaps” he might come across.
The Fear That Children Won’t Get One on One Attention With a Large Family
Okay, I only have four children, but I’ve been asked this question- “How do you homeschool four children at once?!” Um, it’s easier than when I taught twenty at one time.
Typically within a family there is an age spread. This means that older students can be working independently on some things while mom works with little ones. Then little ones can play while mom works with older ones. There is a constant rotation that happens.
There is also the tactic of combining similar ages to work together- especially in a subject that needs to be directly taught- like math. And in some subjects, you can use unit studies that allow all ages to work together.
I won’t pretend that this all goes off without a hitch all the time. There are seasons of life where it’s especially hard to balance kids of all ages. But, even if you have a large family, your teacher/student ratio is probably much better than that of most traditional schools. And, in your family, you have the added benefit of the older kids teaching the younger kids by helping them with a difficult worksheet, reading to them, or leading a hands-on activity. When this happens, older and younger kids learn more.
The Fear That Your Kids Won’t Get In To College
If you are trying to help your child work toward college, you may be daunted by the idea that homeschooled kids will have a hard time getting into college. This idea may come about because parents worry that they aren’t keeping a good transcript or aren’t offering kids the opportunities for enough elective classes. Whatever causes this worry about college, actual research shows this fear is unfounded.
In research studies, homeschool student have higher ACT scores, a higher graduation from college rate, and a higher grade point average during college years. Some behavioral studies even find that homeschooled students are better able to handle the practical tasks of college like registering for classes and talking to professors.
From my personal experience, I know many, many homeschooled kids who have graduated high school and applied for a variety of colleges. I don’t know any that haven’t gotten in. If your goal is to prepare your child for college, homeschooling can be a great way to do that.
The Fear That Your Kids Will Be “Different”
Finally, there’s the fear that your kids will somehow be, you know, “different.” That they’ll be the ones people glance out in public and mutter “There are some of those weird homeschooled kids.” Most of us don’t like to stand out, to be too different, so we don’t want that for our kids either.
To this fear, I give this answer. Yes, absolutely yes, your kids will be different. They’ll be the kids who actually like their siblings. They’ll enjoy hanging out with you, in fact. They’ll be able to carry on a conversation with adults. They’ll use clean language. They’ll wear modest clothes. They’ll think for themselves and be able to defend their worldview.
Yes, some of those things are stereotypical, and I’m sure that there are some traditionally schooled students who have these great traits. But the fact it that, yes, your homeschooled student will be different. But don’t fear it, be glad of it. It’s a good different.
If fears like these are holding you back, I hope that you can read this and take heart. Don’t let these fears keep you from homeschooling. There are many blessings and benefits to be enjoyed!
Leah Courtney is a homeschooling mom of four. Her days are filled with being a mom, homemaker, and teacher. In her (very rare) free time, she enjoys blogging, reading, and reviewing books and curricula. These days she’s learning the joys of being a mom of teens. You can read about her family and homeschooling life at As We Walk Along the Road.
