Do I Really Want My Child to be Like Me?
Oscar Wilde once said, “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness.” Many of us will be familiar with the first half of this famous quote. But do we actively seek to copy greatness? Who is great enough to be worthy of imitation? Am I worthy of imitation? As parents, we must ask ourselves the question: do we really want our children to be like us? Whatever our answer, we know that while children might not be good at doing what their parents say, they’re sure good at copying their actions.
Should we want our kids to imitate us?
If you’re awesome, you should be imitated. At least that’s what the American rapper, Nayvadius Cash said, “Future’s not everybody. The people who are taking my style are like my babies. I’ve got a tribe of kids that want to be like me… My fans can expect greatness. If I wasn’t me, I would want to be me.”
But can many of us claim to be awesome? Perhaps those of us who are humbly honest with ourselves realize we are less than perfect and, and we have copied less than perfect examples. Many of us will admit to being largely products of our shallow, silly, and indulgent media age, as Woody Allen said, “Life doesn’t imitate art; it imitates bad television.”
Some of us, like Confucious, believe we have the ability to take the good and leave the bad, “If I am walking with two other men, each of them I will serve as my teacher. I will pick out the good points of the one and imitate them, and the bad points of the other and correct them in myself.” But, I’m not so confident I can subjectively choose good from bad without a good guide….
What should we be imitating?
I think we all want our kids to follow our good bits—but not our bad bits. This is exactly what God expects of us. In 3 John 1:11, John says, “Beloved, do not imitate what is evil, but what is good.” But, how do we know what is good and what is not? This must simply come down to Bible reading and prayer through the Holy Spirit. In short, imitate whatever and whomever is good. Get the best examples.
Of course, the best example is Jesus. We come to have a deep knowledge of his example through the Bible. Through the Bible, we learn what God loves as we learn His commandments. As we learn His laws, we discover what is good and worthy of emulation. We, Christians, have been called to follow Christ’s example (1 Pet 2:21). Therefore, be imitators of God, knowing that you are His dear children.
How do we get our kids to imitate our good stuff and not our bad stuff?
Homeschooling is a great way we can be positive and godly role models to our children. But, homeschooling is not a panacea, and Christian children are not born of homeschooling. Rather, Christian children are born of God and (often) nurtured through their parents loving, Christian, and gospel-centered attitudes.
Part of our Christian attitude is honesty. Children are great at picking up our dishonesty and hypocrisy. I well remember how my mother used to shout at us throughout the day, getting frustrated with us often. But, she would answer the phone straight after shouting at us, using a fresh, cheerful “Heelllooo.” My Mums attempt to indicate to the caller things were progressing perfectly at home was irritating to us kids. I love my mother and we laugh about this now, but this smacked of hypocrisy when I was a child.
We should be honest about our failings, and if we hurt our children, we need to apologize for our mistakes, something our children will likely find refreshing. This is usually so surprising for children; it is a lesson they will remember!
While we might be flattered and enjoy it when our children copy us, we should be seeking God’s glory more than our self-esteem. As Christians, we need to point our children to Jesus and His example. But, while we can do this, we must remember our children will copy our example—this is a powerful truth and a profound responsibility for parents. We should seek to identify our sin, acknowledge our weakness, and try our utmost to make our example consistent with Jesus’ example. I’m thankful to God for His example. Without Him, my kids would have no hope!
Rebbecca Devitt is the author of Why on Earth Homeschool, a book written to persuade Christians to homeschool. Rebbecca is an advocate of Australian Christian homeschooling. She is a homeschool graduate who enjoys fellowship, Bible study and talking to others about Christian homeschooling.
Rebbecca homeschooled in a Christian family after three years in a Christian school (see Rebbecca’s story in her video interview). She attended a church group made up largely of homeschoolers. Rebbecca feels overwhelmingly blessed by her parents, who pulled her out of school to homeschool. She hopes to share the joys of gospel-centered Christian education with others.
The author enjoys being a keen advocate of homeschooling and lobbies state and federal governments on this topic. Rebbecca is married to Tristan and has an enthusiastic dog, Molly, and a cranky rabbit, Chester. She also has a baby boy, Luke (and, yes, he will be homeschooled!). When it comes to writing, Rebbecca likes to write about issues affecting public, private and Christian schools as well as other subjects affecting Christians today.
In time, Rebbecca hopes her book will affect hundreds of Christian parents, and influence them to choose the best path of Christian education available today, which is diligent Christian homeschooling.
