No More Trophy Children!

Can we please get one thing right in the new year? Can we agree to no longer have trophy children but just to simply love and cherish our children as they are? Too often homeschoolers feel the need to justify all they, and their children, have done—in order to try to prove to the world that homeschooling works. I am here to tell you we know home education works, and so do the people who matter; so stop trying to please everybody else!

I’ve been thinking about this idea, this problem, if you want to call it that, for quite some time. You see, we’ve been educating our children at home for a long time, and I am sure I have fallen prey to this idea a time or two myself. The more I have thought about it, the more I realize we get caught up in the lie of feeling we need to justify our actions as parents. We do not. God has gifted us these precious children to raise for Him. We answer to Him, not to the world, not even to well-intentioned neighbors or relatives.

Today, I am here to tell you that when you meet someone new you do not need to introduce yourself and your children as homeschoolers and list all of their major accomplishments. Just tell them your names. You only need to be obedient to the One who called you to educate them at home. May we stop trying to compete with the world, and may we please stop putting so much pressure on our children to perform. Your children are bright, thoughtful, and caring. They grow up that way because they are around you—their parents—who are bright, thoughtful, and caring. Our children learn to care for “the least of these amongst us” by watching how we treat others. When I introduce myself to you for the first time—I care more about your name and your eternal destination than I ever will about which play your kids performed in or what college degree they are trying to attain. I want to know about you.

It is time for us homeschoolers to get back to the reason we choose to keep our children at home in the first place—so we can be the biggest influence in their lives; so we can raise them for God. Humility has been hard to find in the homeschooling crowd in recent years, unfortunately so, for God calls His people to humble themselves, to pray for others, and to serve others. When we get caught up in the world’s quest for trophy children, we lose our focus, we lose our humility, and we forget to put others first.

I do not want my children to think I will only love them if they achieve great things in the world. I want them to know they are unconditionally loved. I am sure you want the same for your children. We do not want to encourage them to be slackers, or lazy—far from it! What we want is for them to realize that their worth comes from being a child of the One true King. Teach them to do their best and leave the results to God. If He calls them to create a new business, cure a disease, become a statesman, or travel overseas—wonderful! But if He calls them to work quietly with their hands, to be a cook or a plumber, to be a farrier or a botanist—that is wonderful, too, because it means they have learned to listen to His voice, His calling for their lives!

May we once again seek God’s direction for our families in 2018. May we choose to cherish our children each and every day. Let us set them the example that following God’s will for our lives is more important than any worldly trophy. May God grant us to have well-loved, vibrant children, children who grow into adults who change the world through their compassion and generosity to others.

Carol Emmert and her husband Kurt are in their 15th year of home education. With one graduate and one high school senior, Carol writes with a practical look at the whole journey of home education. Focusing on experienced based education and frugal ways to teach and learn well, Carol offers encouragement that anyone, even working moms, can homeschool successfully. Carol writes for her local newspaper, the TOS Homeschool Review Crew, and reviews books for several Christian Publishers. You can find her love of nature, field trips, and lifelong learning on her blog: Home Sweet Life.