October 13, 2021 – Processing Issues from Preschool to High School

Hey, Mama!

Gena Suarez, Publisher of TOS

Persevere, Mama

Hey Mama,

Grief comes. Newly married, before children, we had lofty dreams of what our upcoming life would be: a perfect marriage, well-behaved children, a household that ran like clockwork, curtains gently flowing in and out with the breeze from spotless, pristine open windows. 

We were so clueless.

Then, life happened. Children arrived. They were not perfect. We learned the real meaning of “sadness” and recognized further our great need for our Savior. We cannot control things like we thought we could. News alert: your precious little ones have sin natures. She lied! He was sneaky! They deliberately withheld information or hid their toys from anyone threatening to come near them. 

Mama, we live in a fallen world. And the Lord works through imperfect, fallen, ugly hearts for His greater purpose: His children are being made to be ever more like Christ as we grow in Him. Why else would we need a Savior? He knows our frailties. He knew before the foundations of the earth. He knew your name.

As a parent, we have to deal with a lot. You probably already have realized that if you have been a Mama for any length of time. It’s not easy. Some days are downright awful. Straight to your face, he or she boldly declared an untruth. Lied! 

“But we don’t lie in this family! We love the Lord. What on earth were you thinking, child?” But the stone-face stare, the glazed-over eyes . . . It’s like your words go in one ear and out the other. It feels grievous to know that even though you’ve spoken directly to your child’s heart, you’re getting absolutely nowhere.

I’ve been there, too, Mama . . .

. . . and I’m here to share encouragement from these articles in The Old Schoolhouse® Magazine.

Auditory Processing with Speech Issues by Dianne Craft 
Understanding Your Child’s Learning Struggles by Cyndi Ringoen
Dyslexia’s Flip Side: Strengths and Challenges by Beth Ellen Nash

Remember, Mama . . . 

Take heart. I know story after story—beautiful testimonies—of families with children who went through very dark seasons. Their parents prayed over them. They were faithful shepherds, speaking truth in love, hoping that truth would prevail and a softening would occur. That repentance would finally come. Sometimes it was years later, but God answers prayer. He is the Giver of hope.

It’s easy to just give up. Some parents have done exactly that. Into public school, you go! I’m done, they determine. Or they drop the bar, the standard. God’s Word is the standard but they lose sight of that. Never mind all this pain, dropping the bar is easier. I want my child to be my friend! But that’s the wrong answer, Mama; those are lies from the pit. NEVER drop the standard; hold to it even tighter. Never abandon God’s Word and His plan for your children. Don’t go down that road. It’s what the enemy wants, not our Lord. Keep the standard, His Word. He is wiser than us. Lean not unto your own understanding . . .

Parenting is hard. It involves difficult work. It wears you down and keeps you on your knees. Isn’t that where we are supposed to be though, Mama? On our knees?

He is sufficient and His Word is not going to return void. Pour His Word into their hearts.

Life is short and there is way too much at stake (your children’s souls) to drop the bar which is to throw in the towel—ever. Please realize, we are going to have troubles and trials, regularly. If you love our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, guess what—you’re a target. And your children are right in the enemy’s cross hairs. He wants them because if he succeeds, he’s just brought you down low in spirit. Stay close to the Lord. He wins. You win.

Keep praying without ceasing. Do not give up. Persevere, sweet Mama.

– gena

“For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater: So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it” (Isaiah 55:10-11). 

When Nothing Works

Maureen sat across my desk. The homeschool mom of five smiled tenuously. Tears welled in her kind eyes, then trickled down her cheeks.

“I don’t know what to do. My second child, Terry, tries so hard. No matter what I do, he struggles. His younger siblings are passing him. He thinks he’s dumb; he’s not! What am I going to do?”

Maureen listed a few of Terry’s problems: careless mistakes, delayed reading, sloppy handwriting, frustrations.

“Sounds like processing problems, Maureen,” I advised. “The only sure way to know is a psycho-educational assessment. The results will identify the specific problems and how they affect Terry’s learning. Then, we can manage them by formulating solutions.”

Maureen counseled with her husband. They agreed: an assessment was necessary to secure Terry’s long-term learning achievement. Terry’s results affirmed specific auditory and visual processing difficulties and revealed surprising areas of high intellectual ability!

Based on the results, Maureen and I devised a strategic plan to utilize his abilities, improve disabilities, and pave the way for his success. I also told Terry the truth about his smarts and why he couldn’t use them. He grinned and sat taller.

With hard work and patience, Terry exceeded all expectations.

The assessment process worked for Maureen and Terry. It will work for you, too. No matter the struggle, you can find hope, solutions, and freedom.

Find hope and solutions with SailAway’s Online Assessments. SailAway’s psycho-educational assessments deliver the kind of understanding that produces better learning outcomes. Knowing how your children learn or why they excel (or not) can radically change their educational path. All assessments are administered by a licensed school psychologist and interpreted by an educational psychologist. To find out more, visit us at www.sailawaylearning.com/academic-assessments/.

Raising Real Men

Hal & Melanie Young, RaisingRealMen.com

Homeschooling: The Best Option for Struggling Learners

We’d homeschooled several kids before we hit a bump so steep it felt like a brick wall. When one of our boys started school, nothing stuck. I couldn’t understand it! He was such a bright little kid. How could he be struggling at what his brothers had found so easy? We didn’t find out why until much later: he had severe dyslexia, dysgraphia, slow processing speed, and so much more.

Listen, though, struggling learners can still be really bright kids and be successful in life, too. That little boy is now a grown man who graduated from college with a double major and university awards. He’s married to a lovely young woman and works as a financial analyst for an international corporation. There is hope! Here are some things we learned along the way:

Don’t be afraid of testing.

We were worried about our son being labeled, but that’s a problem in institutional schools where labels can get them sidelined. When you homeschool, it’s just a diagnosis that you don’t have to share with anyone unless it benefits your child. And lots of times, knowing what you are dealing with really does help.

Use accommodations!

Homeschoolers want to prepare kids for the “real world”; so we’re afraid we’ll be too easy on them. In the real world, though, we all use accommodations. Eyeglasses are an accommodation. Spell check is an accommodation. Using accommodations in your homeschool will actually help them to get accommodations later on the SAT, ACT, and in college. You’ll be asked what accommodations they normally receive.

The point is the learning, not how they got there.

Don’t drive your child (or yourself) crazy trying to create a pile of worksheets and documents that no one is ever going to look at again – even you! Instead, use audiobooks, do things orally, find hands-on ways to learn things. Do WHATEVER it takes for them to learn, and don’t worry a bit about whether that looks like the ways other kids learn.

Homeschooling allows us to meet our kids where they are and help them however they need help, while letting them run ahead in the areas they are able. It’s a GREAT way to educate struggling learners. You’ve got this!

We’d like to invite you to go through our course “Bright Kids who Struggle,” worth $19.97, but free this week to readers of “The Homeschool Minute” through this link.

Your friends,
Hal & Melanie

Roger Smith

Parenting Matters Now

Pillar of Knowledge
Roger Smith – Don’t Be Offended!

Children can hurt us in many ways, but sometimes they are not trying to hurt. They simply are being themselves and would gladly change themselves if they could.

Processing difficulties can cause children to appear lazy, uninterested, unwilling, or mad, and that can produce a tense relationship with parents. At the same time, parents often do not understand what is going on beneath the surface and may take offense at the resistance, irresponsibility, or disrespect they see.

HIT THE PAUSE BUTTON! If this sounds familiar, your child could have a processing problem, and the most important job you have is to KNOW YOUR CHILD and to understand him.

It is a complex process to see, hear, or feel things, decode, interpret, and translate it, and then to plan and execute a response. When a child cannot easily complete the process in the same time others can, he wonders what is wrong with him. But he can know this—that you do not think he is a reject!

Educate yourself to understand the specific challenges your child faces. Learn to communicate understanding and hope, rather than frustration. Find ways to make them feel loved, accepted, and understood, and get permission from him to find help.

About the author

Dr. Roger Smith is a family doctor in rural Louisiana, where he and his wife, Jan, raised four adventurous children who are all grown, making their own mark in the world. He speaks and writes on parenting issues and produces brief videos that can be found on Facebook @ParentingMattersNow.