March 8, 2023 – Teen Rebels and Prodigals

Mercy Every Minute

Deborah Wuehler, TOS Senior Editor

8 Powerful Helps

In the early years of raising our rebellious child, we all wanted to just run and hide. It was a very difficult and turbulent ten years from the age of 8 to 18. God only knows the heartbreak and turmoil and utter exhaustion a true rebel can bring to the home. I see you. God really sees you. Until they bow the knee before their Maker, you may be holding on for a long hard ride.

In order to not just survive, but give purpose to these turbulent years (and children), here are eight things you can do starting today:

1. Remain consistent (consistent rules, rewards, discipline, schedules, meals, etc.).
2. Create unity and communication with your spouse and other siblings.
3. Remain peaceful (respond well instead of just reacting – this takes much self-control and prayer).
4. Don’t push them away (bring them in closer, more fellowship, more one on one time).
5. Don’t devalue what God has created them to be. They were made to be fighters of the good fight of faith. Teach them cultural issues from a Biblical worldview to fight for or against. Teach them that their fight is with the enemy of their souls, and not their parents or siblings.
6. Intense, daily, warfare prayer. And our High Priest, Jesus Christ, ever lives to intercede in prayer for them also. Join Him there daily.
7. Refresh your own soul in the Word of God. It is a must. Truth has to be within, so it can counter the lies.
8. Consider possible intervention or counseling.

Here’s some more wisdom and encouragement from The Old Schoolhouse® Magazine—from those who have parented a prodigal, or themselves been one, including my daughter.

When Prodigal Mamas Grow Weary: Four Things You Should Know, by Lori Hatcher
God’s Unlikely Candidate: When a Rebel Becomes a Homeschool Parent, by Elizabeth R. Odatch
How Homeschooling Has Benefited My Life, by Hannah Wuehler

Homeschooling is not a guarantee of salvation, but it is the best investment in their eternal future. Satan hates that whole idea and will speak lies to them constantly, so you must speak Truth. Good news: Stats show that close to 90% of homeschooled children retain the faith of their fathers, whereas nearly 90% of public-schooled teens walk away from their faith. The risk is exponentially less when they are discipled at home and presented with the gospel in all its forms of grace and mercy.

You may not see the fruit for years to come but go forward being obedient to your calling in the LORD. God never gave up on our child even when I wanted to. Not one day. He never gave up on me either. I know our God is able, and we may one day rejoice together in what He will do in our own hearts and in the hearts of our rebels as we keep them Home. Where They Belong.

“Whom have I in heaven but thee? And there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee. My flesh and my heart fail: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:25, 26

I would be honored to bring you and your rebel before the Throne of God. Email dwuehler@theoldschoolhouse.com.

Praying for all our rebels today,

~Deborah

P.S. See below for some more in-depth articles I wrote on this topic.

Homeschooling the Rebel
Homeschooling the Rebel 2
Homeschooling the Teen Rebel

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Diane Heeney

The Power of Prayer

Monica, the mother of Augustine, poured massive amounts of time into praying for and training up her rebellious son, and never saw fruit of it in her lifetime. Augustine wandered from northern Africa to the Italian peninsula as a terrible prodigal, in search of something that turned out to be Someone whom Ambrose helped him find. All along, he could not shake the influence of Monica’s words, but especially her prayers for him. As a newborn in Christ [he was converted at age 31], his life burst into flame for His Savior.

Mama, if you are struggling and growing weary in well doing, take heart. It is immensely gratifying to see the fruits of our labor as Christian parents, but it could be that the petals of those buds will not even begin to visibly unfurl until after our days are spent.

Be faithful in that for which you are accountable—do what is necessary to lay that firm foundation, with the Lord Jesus as the chief Cornerstone. Be on the watch for God to work. Love the Lord. Lean on Him. Stay hopeful. Speak the truth in love. Pray.

About the author

Diane Heeney is a graduate of Bob Jones University, where she served on faculty for ten years. She has been Assistant to the Director of Advertising Sales at The Old Schoolhouse® Magazine since 2016. She’s homeschooled her three children over the course of the past 18 years, having graduated their two oldest. Diane, her husband Patrick, and their youngest child, Katie, reside in eastern Wyoming.

Roger Smith

Pillar of Knowledge
Roger Smith – Fear Paralyzes

She began pulling away from us, but we didn’t know why. During the college years, our daughter often became irritable during family discussions, and talked little.

Not sure what to do, we watched and waited. Finally, Emily asked questions privately about matters of faith and other belief systems. She was challenging our values, firmly convinced we would reject her once we realized she didn’t agree with our beliefs.

Fear produces paralysis. Fear of rejection was driving a wedge between us.

Jan and I committed to one foundational principle—our daughter was more important than any issue. We resolved that “a faith that cannot be tested cannot be trusted.” Her challenges to our beliefs were no real threats to us, but they threatened our relationship.

Before she would communicate openly with us, Emily had to feel safe. Safe from our criticism. Safe from our correction. Safe from our disdain.

This adult “child,” we trained to think, search, and learn truth. And we trust that the Spirit who guides us into all truth, will also guide her. Our job as parents had moved from guide, to coach, to confidant—so with confidence, we continue to love her on her journey, watching the horizon for a turn toward home.

About the author

Dr. Roger Smith is a family doctor in rural Louisiana, where he and his wife, Jan, raised four adventurous children who are all grown, making their own mark in the world. He speaks and writes on parenting issues and produces brief videos that can be found on Facebook .@ParentingMattersNow

Parenting your teenager is a tough job. Parents today have to play counselor, cop, and crisis manager all rolled into one. Being a good parent means using your head, heart, and faith. The Parenting Your Teenager course at SchoolhouseTeachers.com equips moms and dads to recognize common patterns, plan effective strategies, and build character.