Never Forget Why You Are Homeschooling

/ / Published in * Encouragement


It’s a universal homeschool parent experience; everyone, at some point, has one of “those days”—when you can’t remember why exactly you decided to homeschool the darling offspring who are driving you crazy,

and one more complaint or quarrel might send you over the edge.

Remember Your Why

Those are the days when homeschool parents must return to their “why.” Each parent has her reasons for choosing this life. Maybe you can rattle them off quickly, or maybe they are buried in the back of your mind. I suspect that for most of us it requires a bit of mental digging, but it’s an effort that will be rewarded with clarity and renewed conviction. TOS contributor Meredith Curtis offers thoughts on this very topic in her article, Why We Homeschool.

Perhaps your own homeschool journey began with a child’s negative experience in a traditional school setting: a teacher whose methods of running a classroom didn’t fit well with your child’s temperament, a special need that wasn’t addressed adequately, or undesirable peer influence.

Or maybe you were initially inspired by some positive experience of meeting homeschooled children who enjoyed interacting with people of any age, reading a book that made a compelling case for home education, or simply knowing that you wanted your children to spend the majority of their waking hours at home.

Whatever your reasons, take the time to bring them to the forefront of your mind. Verbalize them, write them down on paper, then put the paper where you can see it frequently.

Remember the Old Adage

We’ve heard the saying, “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.” If a friend shares about some great school opportunity her child has had, in my best moments, I am pleased for her family’s happiness. More commonly, however, I feel insecure about whether my children are missing out.

What I have realized over the years is that in my FOMO, I tend to forget about all the things parents of children in traditional schools must deal with. Some of these issues are obvious to us, like ideological debates that dominate our current political and moral landscape. Others are more subtle, particularly the “baked-in” elements of traditional schools. In British educator Charlotte Mason’s sixth volume, A Philosophy of Education, she gives an excellent example of one such feature endemic to schools in early twentieth-century England, and, for that matter, to those in twenty-first-century America:

The worst of using other spurs to learning is that a natural love of knowledge which should carry us through eager school-days, and give a spice of adventure to the duller days of mature life, is effectually choked; and boys and girls “Cram to pass but not to know; they do pass but they don’t know.” The divine curiosity which should have been an equipment for life hardly survives early schooldays.

In other words, it’s easy for us to fall victim to the assumption that the grass really is greener on the lawn of the nearby traditional school. But we must remind ourselves of the hidden costs, one of which is the reality that in most schools, the reliance is on external forces (e.g., grades, test scores, honor rolls, etc.,) to motivate a child to acquire knowledge.

Maybe the idea of using a carrot-and-stick method to motivate isn’t a hot button issue for you. It’s likely, however, that there are other aspects of traditional school that bear keeping in mind when you are tempted to lament the shortcomings of your homeschool. 

Reconnect with Your Vision

You’ve done the hard mental work. You’ve identified the primary reasons you chose to start homeschooling, as well as the hidden costs of traditional schooling. But the concept of remembrance involves far more than just the mind. A very cursory study of the Hebrew word for remember, zakar, indicates the importance of active participation rather than passive mental recall. For example, when God gives the command to “Remember the sabbath day to keep it holy” (Exodus 20:8, KJV), the very act of keeping the Sabbath day holy in the manner in which God prescribes is itself the remembering.

Though “remembering why we homeschool” is certainly not a decree on par with the Ten Commandments, the principle behind it remains the same: we are more than our minds; we are composite beings with heart, soul, mind, and body; and the act of remembering must involve our whole selves.

In what ways can we involve our whole selves in the act of remembering why we homeschool? Sometimes it’s necessary to remove ourselves from our home for a bit—perhaps to attend a homeschool conference or retreat, to connect with good friends or others who will be an encouragement, or to simply spend time alone, with a good book, in prayer, or in nature.

At other times, reconnecting with our vision doesn’t have to involve us getting away from the kids. As an introvert, I still need to be able to refresh myself emotionally and spiritually, so I must find creative ways to do that while at home. Sometimes making small changes in one’s homeschool can create remembrance. Decorate the schoolroom with art, candles, seasonal decor, printed photos, or other adornments that bring to your visual and olfactory senses the beauty and joy of your homeschool. Change up the rhythm or routine of the day by including more outdoor time or having lessons outdoors. These can help us to actively remember why we homeschool: because we have the freedom to get up, to move, to change things up when needed, or to stay the course when necessary.

Going Forward

When you are struggling to keep the momentum going, reflect on these questions:

  • Why did we choose to homeschool in the beginning?
  • In what ways am I giving in to a “grass is always greener” mentality? What is the actual reality of our situation?
  • How can I involve my whole self in “remembering” why we homeschool? Are there small, concrete acts of remembrance I can incorporate?

Do not forget. Do not be discouraged. Press on with fortitude in the discipleship and formation of your family!

More Resources 

Guest Author 

Emily Meisterheim is a wife and homeschool mom of three who loves to read and learn about educational philosophy and church history. Really, any good book or idea that comes across her path will do! She is also passionate about running and concocts some of her best ideas while on the trail.

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