September 30, 2026 – Homeschooling the Rebellious Child

Mercy Every Minute

Deborah Wuehler, TOS Senior Editor

We Have an Enemy

Some of the Godliest parents have raised children who at some point rebel against them and their God. And sometimes, it takes years for the rebel to come to their senses. Think about Adam and Eve: the first parents who walked physically close with an Almighty God. Yet, what happened to their sons? Think about the many saints in history who started out as rebels but ended up as mighty warriors for the Kingdom of God. (Find good biographies of strong saints in history and read these to your rebellious child.) If you have a rebellious child, first look at how they got there. Were your boundaries too loose? Do they have an underlying physical condition; are they getting the best nutrition and sleep; are you an angry parent? While you are researching the triggers of their rebellion, don’t lose heart. God is raising up warriors in His army and needs those who are strong in spirit. It may not be a condition, but a calling.  

Every choice you make concerning your strong-willed child, and every word you say needs to bear eternal weight. This is not the time to push against them or away from them—rather draw them in close. Spend lots of time with them for the purpose of listening and discipling. 

Our job is to learn patience and teach them by example how to live and respond to what life throws their way.

They can smell a hypocrite parent a mile away—or even a few angry words away. Our actions must line up with our words and we must live what we preach. If we are always frustrated and angry with our rebel, they will not hear anything we have to say. Our hearts must be right before the Lord and the rebel. If we are humble and forgiving, they just might have an ear to hear.

We have an enemy, and it is not our child. Satan wants to destroy these rebels who will stand against sin. You both need to rebel against the enemy of their soul in mighty-through-God prayer warfare. And, we can thank God in advance for making our child a rebel who will be used for His glory and purposes as we keep them Home. Where They Belong.

~Deborah

Listen in to the podcast where Deborah and her daughter, Hannah, discuss her rebellious years. (See podcast below).

The Freebie in this month’s THM is “Homeschooling the Rebel,” Part 1 and Part 2 (see below for Freebie). 

If your rebellious child is a teen, this may be encouraging: “Homeschooling the Teen Rebel“

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Adam and Dianne Riveiro

Don’t Give Up Hope on the Rebel

We can’t speak to what it’s like to have a full-on rebel in our home, but we’ve definitely experienced rebellious phases with our children. Will your child’s rebellion be a phase or a lifelong pattern? While we can’t make any guarantees, there are some things we’d encourage you not to give up on during this season your child is going through.

• Don’t give up on church. We pray that you’re already faithful to your church, but resist the urge to accommodate your child by giving them the option of attending with you or not. This rarely ends well.
• Don’t give up on parenting. It’s tempting to give the rebel some space and step back from parenting. We’d encourage the opposite. Keep lovingly guiding them, as we’re commanded to in Scripture (Proverbs 19:18 comes to mind. Look it up!).
• Don’t give up hope. There may be days when it feels like your little (or not so little) rebel is beyond your reach. Trust me, we’ve felt that way too. But please don’t stop praying for them (or start praying for them if you’re not already). Don’t stop loving them. Don’t stop investing in them. As long as there’s a God in heaven, there’s always hope for the rebel.

Homeschooling a rebel isn’t easy, but giving up can’t be an option. Rest in the words of Christ: “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). Take your burden to Him!

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About the author

Pastor Adam and Dianne Riveiro live in Easton, Massachusetts, where Adam serves as the pastor of Liberty Baptist Church. Together, they’ve authored several books, including their newest book Ministering to YOUR Children with Special Needs, published by Ready Scribe Publications. Parents to four amazing kids—Bethany, Kaylee, AJ, and Peyton—the Riveiros are deeply committed to helping special needs families discover joy and contentment through Christ.

Todd Wilson

Homeschooling the Rebellious Child

I wrote this three years ago . . . but I still think it rings true for this week’s topic. 

I’m not really a label guy especially when it comes to people and kids. Labels don’t always seem accurate, they over generalize . . . and they’re hard to shake.

Joey is a slow learner.

Mary is sloppy.

It’s like we’ve stuck a big label on their chest and announced to them, “This is who you are—who you’ll always be.” I especially feel that way with the label rebel. Rebel conveys deep flaws, a hard heart, sinful patterns, and someone who just doesn’t seem very likable or easy. No one likes being labeled that. It’s like being called bad.

It reminds me of the animated movie Mega Mind. The lead guy is a blue-headed boy who just wants to “succeed” in the eyes of those who matter. But he keeps making mistakes . . . and blowing things up. At one point the camera pans to his face and we hear his voice narrated over his sad eyes, “I decided, if everyone thought I was bad, I would be bad.”

I wonder if that plays into the mind of a child who is labeled a rebel.

So here’s the takeaway: don’t use the label rebel. God has a plan for your child and He is going to complete what He started. The child might do some dumb things and say some hurtful words, but they’re just kids who want their parents to love them no matter what and believe the best about them. 

Of course, that’s easier to say than to do . . . but don’t give up on them . . . and be real,

Todd

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About the author

Todd Wilson is a dad, granddad, writer, conference speaker, and former pastor. A favorite speaker at homeschool conventions, retreats, and churches, he is the founder of Familyman Ministries and the Smiling Homeschooler, and hosts two podcasts: The Familyman Show and The Smiling Homeschooler. Todd, and his wife, Debbie, homeschool two of their eight children (six have graduated, with four married) in northern Indiana.

Beth Mora

Diagnosing Rebellion

All rebellion is not created equal. It’s important to pause the chaos and untangle what is really going on. “I don’t want to” . . . “You can’t make me.” . . . “I hate homeschooling.” has different roots. Some things in life are out of our control, but what we can control is where we get to craft a life that honors God. These struggles are common to home educators and your situation is not unique. 1 Corinthians 10:13 brings tremendous comfort because we have a God who is faithful. So let’s unpack some of the popular issues by asking some questions.

Too Much: How’s your family schedule? Is it packed to the minute? How long does your child need to sit? Are you tackling too many subjects?

Too Little: Is there enough attention to each child’s need for instruction? Is your schedule unpredictable? Is there too much downtime? 

Not Enough: Is your home a place of refuge and peace? Do you laugh and enjoy life together?

Change: Have you made changes to your home or school schedule too quickly? Remember, change happens slowly.

Unresolved Conflict: Hurts that linger and pile up affect everyone. What is your family’s conflict resolution style? Is anger unleashed a regular part of your day? Does forgiveness freely flow?

Unanswered Questions: Is your home a safe place to wrestle with questions of faith and what is happening in the world? 

Desiring a Different Feeling: When feelings get too big, hearts shut down, and too many video games and other fixations take over. 

Surprisingly, a rebellious child is a gift that helps us to seek God and to see a different vision for our family. Humbly pray and know that you are not alone.

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About the author

Beth Mora is a staff writer for The Old Schoolhouse® Magazine and lesson designer for SchoolhouseTeachers.com. She is the creator/teacher-on-camera for Here to Help Learning’s Homeschool Writing Program Grades 1-6, and a homeschool conference and women’s events speaker. Her blog, Home To Home, is one of her favorite places to encourage others. Everything she does is done to honor her Lord and Savior, Jesus.

Has the happy homeschooling vision you imagined slowly faded? Perhaps the constant reminding, correcting, and power struggling has worn down your resilience and excitement for homeschooling. Without discounting that rebellion is wearisome and concerning, SchoolhouseTeachers.com wants to encourage you to continue. Consider taking a Just for Parents Encouragement course as part of your devotion time. Whether you’re needing Homeschooling That’s Relational, Homeschooling Through the Rough Spots, or help staying the course, there’s sure to be something to edify you as you navigate your homeschool.