Hey Mama Monday: What to Do When Life is Falling Apart, Mama
Hey Mama,
When it’s all falling apart around you, stop and be still. Just quit moving for a moment and re-group; hit the reset button. You’re allowed to do that. No one is standing over you with a whip (except yourself).
Don’t do it.
What will your advice be to your daughter or daughter-in-law ten years from now when she calls you in tears and says she is overwhelmed? That she’s a big, huge failure?
Will you tell her to snap out of it, get a hold of herself, and work faster and harder . . . instead of whining?
Will you tell her how disappointed you are in her . . . that your grandkids deserve better, that your suspicions are confirmed: she truly is good-for-nothing after all?
Or will you verbally, tenderly do what I know you will do? I believe you will laugh softly and tell her you have been there/done that a million times. And that you understand what she’s dealing with all too well because years and years ago you had little ones, too, and felt the same way at times.
I believe you will tell her that she is the best mother on the planet for your grandkids, that she’s only human, that she is doing her level best to love her family and serve them well, and that she’s doing a splendid job at it all, by your estimation! Of course, you will, Mama, because that’s who you are—an encourager, a strong shoulder. A wise mama.
Send her some links to The Old Schoolhouse® Magazine, if you run out of ideas. You’re going to love these:
Hercules Overwhelmed: Dealing with Homeschool “Burnout”
“You Homeschool? You Must Be SO Patient!”
And remember, Mama. . .
You are super good at speaking truth into the lives of others. So why do you hammer yourself again and again over minor issues? You know the truth. You’re an encourager now, and you’ll be the same way nine, ten, twenty years from now.
The only difference is that you will be in a unique position, having walked similar paths. Your daughter doesn’t have to resort to discouragement over her failures/homeschooling/housekeeping/whatever. You can show her a better way—God’s way! When burnout comes (and it will sometimes), point her to the One who called her to this path.
He holds no whip over her head. He offers her the same grace, compassion, patience, and genuine love that He’s holding out to you right this minute. So, take it. Could you just take it? It’s yours, Mama.
Recognize this life for what it is. It’s full of chores, but it’s NOT a chore itself. It’s a precious gift so view it that way. And later, you can tell your daughter the same thing you finally learned about a life lived with confidence instead of hurried stress and constant frustration with yourself. Don’t be so hard.
Tell her how God’s got her on the path He lovingly placed her on and that He is fulfilling His plan so instead of worrying, she should smile, relax, and enjoy this time with her sweet children because time flies SO fast. Before she knows it, her own kids will be grown. Why waste this chapter of life? LIVE, Daughter of the King. Fail sometimes. But then get back up and LIVE.
Guess what happens next? Decades later, she tells your future granddaughter the same things, the same truths.
Your great God and Savior loves you. Pass it on. But first, accept it yourself, Mama. It’s real and it is for you.
You are going to be an amazing grandma. Your daughter will remember how crazy it was from time to time but that you always got back up. Who will she call when it’s her turn to be a Mama? That’s a no-brainer. She will call her best friend . . . you.
“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light” Matthew 11:28-30 (NASB).
