Parenting Without Emotions
Children of any age seem to generate the most advantageous, and also the worst parenting emotions. Without realizing, our voice becomes louder, our body starts to tighten, and breath shortens, and we have just engaged in a round of emotional exhaustion for ourselves and our child. To disengage oneself from swirling in a pattern that seems to be an endless merry-go-round, it takes pure consciousness to STOP!
As the new school year approaches, now is the time to effectively change habits that distract from the end goal of raising your children. Without making a conscious effort to promote internal growth, one cannot truly “bloom” in the home.
Of course, effective change is by far the hardest to mentally manage. Our emotions become immovable forces, and we find ourselves following malfunctioning patterns of communication that are ingrained and not rightly chosen. If not carefully corrected, we will falter between what we know to be true and what we believe in our minds.
This life given us is a journey. We CHOOSE whether to regard its hidden strengths or consider it to be a burden. When dealing with children, especially, we may feel the weight of it on all sides, because they seem to have a subtle power used to refine the very core of who we are in soul and spirit. Often, it is the ugly underneath that rises to the surface, and we clearly see the areas that need desperate change.
A Raw Parenting Moment:
My 7-year-old is one that seems always to stir my insides, revealing my ugly self of emotional impatience and loudness. Instead of separating myself from the action, taking a conscious breath and re-engaging in a slow, steady tone, my voice awakens to a volume that I often should mute. She, of course, is not hard of hearing and reacts by tuning me out. Our task is now delayed, and the willingness and effort to persevere on her part come to a halt. To re-engage her, I must first bring my mental balance back into alignment. Softening my tone; speaking with a steady and clear voice;
making every attempt to CHANGE EMOTIONALLY. I consider this progress — changing from the inside out!
Whether your children are homeschooled, private, public or unschooled, learning to parent without emotions will be a dedicated effort. Observe other parents in any store, library, community event, field trip, vacation, neighborhood or playground and note that we are all the SAME unless we intentionally separate ourselves and become a parent without emotions. Too many parents speak before thinking. Don’t be one of those adults that live with guilt, because of thoughtless words, BUT do become one of those wise individuals we all long to be in our hearts.
So, as the school year begins fresh for your children, let it begin anew for YOU, the parent, as well. Find ways to strengthen your emotional well-being; let go of those emotions that negatively impact your role and distract your heart. Define yourself as one who carries a “hidden secret” that is only revealed when the dynamics of emotions are at stake.
May this year be DIFFERENT from the former!
Pam Havens – I am a homeschooling mom of 4 kiddos, in which I have been homeschooling now for 5 years. I enjoy writing/blogging & am a part of Moms Meet, which is a green living mom ambassador program. I have a BA degree in Youth Ministry/Psychology. We just recently moved to Virginia last December, and we have taken a Vineyard church as lead pastors. We have lived in Michigan, Vermont, Kansas and South Africa and have traveled to over 13 different countries partaking in mission trips and personal travel. I love traveling, adventures and culture.
