Raising Real Men
One of the things that frustrates us the most is having a list a mile long when one of the children has the kind of meltdown you can’t ignore. You know the kind we’re talking about–where Mutiny on the Bounty and the Civil War are happening at the same time . . . in your living room. The kind of meltdown that demands full attention from every adult who is home or who can be reached by cell phone. The kind of meltdown that includes tears, accusations, recriminations, and anger. The kind of meltdown that takes forever to work out.
Or, maybe it’s just a series of minor discipline issues. Gripe, gripe, gripe. Whine, whine, whine. Pestering and teasing. It’s not just one child; it’s everyone. All day.
Sometimes we get to the end of the day and think, “Great, just great. The entire day is wasted. We’ve gotten nothing done. Nothing. Arrggghhhh.“ Sometimes we’ve even said it aloud to the children. Surely you’ve felt the same way. Is it right, though? Are those days really wasted?
Wonder what the Lord thinks about it?
When we look through the Word of God, we see very little about academics, but a great deal about discipleship. That’s a little hard for us to admit. We love academics. We love books. We love learning. But, we have to love God first.
With that in mind, it’s pretty clear that character has got to come before academics. How can you manage that without chucking the academics entirely? Here are some thoughts:
When one child is losing it, sit him down and tell him you’ll be with them in a minute, and then give the other children instructions so they can keep going.
Keep your cool. Somebody’s got to be the adult in the situation and it’s not going to be your child! The calmer we are, the faster we’ll be able to bring our child to his senses.
Use the Word of God. It’s much more powerful than our words! We like to pull out For Instruction in Righteousness by Doorposts and have each of us take terms reading the passages that apply to our situation. It’s always amazing to see the Lord change their hearts–and ours.
Fully forgive. We should be careful not to “forgive” by being grudging or angry, but by showing joy that our child has come to repentance. We often think of the father of the prodigal son for an example. When we forgive our children fully and freely, we teach them about God.
Don’t despair. Why are we homeschooling anyway? For our family, it’s all about serving God. If so, maybe we should be satisfied when God’s curriculum for the day is different than ours. When we think about it that way, it changes everything, doesn’t it?
This month we’re celebrating the twentieth anniversary of our homeschool. Honestly, we’ve had an awful lot of those days that feel wasted to us. When we look at the godly men our grown children have become, though, we realize that those “wasted” days were probably the most important ones of all.
Yours in the battle,
Hal & Melanie
P.S. When our boys were nine to twelve years old, it seemed like days like that were constant. Need some practical ideas? Need some encouragement and hope? Join us for Boot Camp 9-12: Getting Geared Up for the Teen Years–a LIVE interactive webinar series for parents of boys nine to twelve years old. Our next session starts tomorrow! Click here for more information.
Marriage? What does that have to do with homeschooling? Lots! Spend some time on the two of you in our Marriage Retreat Online, the only marriage retreat you don’t have to hire a sitter for, our LIVE interactive webinar series for couples–by the authors of My Beloved and My Friend: How to be Married to Your Best Friend Without Changing Spouses! Click here!
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Our world continues to grow in complexity and uncertainty. Despite the challenges in today’s world, there are two essential areas for us to guide our children to ensure they have the best chance to reach their hopes and dreams: academics and character.
The statistics are clear about the importance of an academic education to enable our children to reach their potential. Despite this overwhelming evidence about the importance of education, we have all experienced the disastrous impact when leaders in business, ministry, or public service have a great academic education, but lack character in the conduct of their responsibilities. The importance of strengthening character along with an academic education is a “winning” combination for sustaining a life of positive impact.
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