The Tween Phase
I let out a heavy sigh as I considered the events of the morning. Holding firmly to my cup of hot tea, I prayed for wisdom.
My morning initially seemed promising. Despite the horrific discovery we were out of coffee, I was determined. We were preparing to move, but a change in the closing date of our home purchase left me feeling unsure of when to pack and how to prepare. Regardless, I was committed to complete the remaining unfinished details.
While my children prepared for the day, it was clear the morning was not beginning joyfully. My daughter raged through the house, angry over the art her brother had posted on the refrigerator. He had created a wanted poster, citing ‘Wanted Dead or Alive,’ featuring a rather unflattering hand drawn picture of her. Emotions flowed uncontrollably when another son reacted poorly to their loud bickering.
As I attempted to address the chaos around me, tempers flared out of control. When my one son realized our day would not hold his plans and expectations, he became inconsolable. What should have been a minor incident had turned into a morning long exhaustive trial.
While I delight in watching my children grow, I am often reminded that parenting is a tough job. Overnight they seem to transform from cuddly babe in my arms to independent demanding toddler. I’m reeling with how quickly my demanding toddler became a pre-teen.
It was several months ago when I noticed the change in my son’s behavior. Initially there were frequent displays of increased emotion and challenges to mom’s authority. I passed it off to geographic changes our family was going through.
It was words from a friend that caused me to realize my son was going through the growth season of pulling away. She said, “Boys have a natural breaking away that God created in them, but that sometimes manifests as rebellion.”
Tweens are defined as the age between 10 to 12, during which many boys begin pulling away. Tweens are considered too old to be a child, and to young to be a teenager. It’s a critical time where kids begin growing out of childhood and are seeking more independence from parents. They want to be treated like adults, but sometimes need hurts hugged away like a child. My oldest son went through this season at an older age.
My morning did not yield the completed tasks I had planned. Heart lessons were more important than packing stuff into boxes. Lessons like treating others with respect, how to calmly respond to teasing opposed to reacting, and how it’s okay to grow.
Not only is parenting a tough job, so is growing up. Each day will hold heart lessons. Some will be more challenging then others. Some lessons will be repeated over and over.
The wanted poster still hangs on the refrigerator. Words were crossed out to now read ‘Wanted Alive.’ The offense caused by the poster eventually ended in laughter by all. I cherish the antics of my youngest children, knowing all too soon they will enter the tween phase. I pray continually for wisdom in keeping their hearts, and hope for a full coffee cup along the way.
Teresa Brouillette is a wife and busy homeschooling mom, living for Jesus. With a love for writing, she shares the adventures and lessons of her family and homeschool at TeresaBrouillette.com.
