Homeschooling Special Needs Children

Homeschooling mom Amanda Evans shares her experience and perspective of home educating her three special needs children. Be encouraged by her story and her gentle way of dealing with the ups and downs of parenting.

TCS: Tell us about how you began homeschooling? 

Amanda: I have home educated pretty much my children's whole life. I believe that it starts in your belly as you read to them and sing to them. At our local homeschool group, they always joke and say however old your child is that is how long you have been homeschooling them.

Our oldest had one year of Junior Kindergarten at a private school, and I was the EA there. She really was not doing well in the school system. So, I sat down with the teachers there and discussed this with them. They told me that I was so good with the students in the class and was a natural with children so I should maybe look into homeschooling her instead. So, in senior kindergarten she was homeschooled and has been ever since. Our two youngest have never been in the school system; we have always home educated them.

TCS: What would be one benefit you can think of for homeschooling special needs children compared to public school?

Amanda: I think when you have special needs children the school system really struggles to adequately provide everything that the student is going to need.

Although my children have never been in the public school system, I know of a lot of parents that pull their special needs children out. They home educate them because it is really tricky when you have children that are under the spectrum to have the resources that are needed. Now we have three so it is not really set up for that need. I have researched it a lot and found this to be true. That is probably why so many people are now pulling these children out of the school system and home educating them instead.

It is not a fault of the teachers; it is not a fault of anybody really. It is just a reality. It is not realistic to expect that these children can be put into a classroom and be expected to perform in the exact same way as other children in the class.

I think the benefit is that there is a lot more flexibility when you home educate. And you, of course, know your own children best. So, you can read the signs when they are getting too antsy or they need a break. Or they are just not tracking what you are trying to teach them. You have more freedom to work around this stuff.

TCS: It takes a lot of work to homeschool children that are not special needs. So, when you have three in this spectrum, are there any cons to homeschooling? Are there any support groups out there for you? 

Amanda: Home educating your children can be very isolating if you do not have a very good support group. Even just one or two other moms that you can click with will be a big help. I have a couple moms that I call when I am “on my ledge, when I feel like I am about to jump.” They talk me off the ledge, and they have been such a blessing to me. If you can find that one or two moms that you can completely trust and that you can be open and honest and transparent with, that will help you feel less isolated. That way you know that you have someone to go to when the situation arises.

The cons are that it is even more isolating for you if you are homeschooling special needs children. So, if you can find a support group of parents of other special needs children, that will definitely make a huge difference in your life. Someone you can go have tea with once in a while or even just have facetime with when needed. We are blessed because we live in the era with multiple ways that we can converse with other people.

Just find your way. Find your people and use them as a support system and be willing to be there for them when they need you as well.

TCS: Since you moved from Ontario to New Brunswick, can you share how you made that transition, which can also be helpful information for new homeschoolers to get connected with resources and groups in their area. 

Amanda: We really did not know anyone in Moncton when we moved here so my go-to was Google. I just did a google search for information. I am also a member of the Homeschool Legal Defense Association of Canada so I gave them a shout and said, “Hey, we are going to be moving out of Ontario to New Brunswick. Who do I go to? Who can I connect with? Is there a provincial body that would be able to connect me with someone or a homeschool group locally?” They said absolutely, and they were a fantastic resource when we really needed it.

I also reached out to a few places that I had purchased homeschool curriculum from. They said they knew a few people who are really great in the area. As it turns out, I have become close friends with some of those people they had recommended.

And as I had mentioned, Google has been a real blessing. I have been able to google groups and individuals. I just got a lot of information about the area and also by calling HSLDA to find out what it was like to homeschool in this province. Then I reached out to the Home Educators of New Brunswick. They share a ton of information on their website and also over the phone.

We narrowed our province we wanted to live in based on our concern of still educating in the same way we were used to in Ontario. It took a lot of research before we had even moved to New Brunswick.

TCS: What advice would you give someone that is thinking about homeschooling their child?

Amanda:  I would say the biggest thing that it took me a while to learn is to not recreate public school at home. You are home educating because you see that you want something different than what the school system can offer for your family and for your children.

Again, I am not saying anything bad about the school system. They just use a different philosophy. So, if you try to bring the institutional school system into your house then you will have great errors within the first couple of years and maybe even no hair. At first, I was like we have to have recess, we have to do lunch,  we have to do this and that, and everything has to be like the school system, and I have to dot the I’s and cross the T’s. But then I was like oh dear Lord, this is not working.  So, I finally had to realize that it was not working because the way that I was doing it was just not possible.

The other thing that was a blessing to me was having those couple of people I mentioned before that were supportive for me through all the tears and laughter, frustrations, and highs and lows. They were a constant encouragement that way.

I think the other thing that I would encourage you to do is make sure that you have fun. The more that you enjoy teaching them then the more that they will actually love to learn.  So, if you are really not liking a curriculum then put it aside and find something else. It is okay to start a curriculum and decide it does not work. Stop and try something else that does work.

Basically, you want to foster a love for learning in your children. Teach them at home to learn how to read, write, do arithmetic and to learn about God and His creation.  When you learn His Word, you will all realize how amazing He really is. You will teach them how He is at the centre of your home, their education, and at the centre of your relationships. If you foster their love for learning and their love for the Lord at a really young age, it will help them grow spiritually.

Let your children see that you enjoy teaching them. Then, in turn, they will love learning, and you are setting them up for a lifetime of a love to learn. This will show even after graduation or secondary education. It lasts for their lifetime.

If you are having a hard time finding the right curriculum for your family, then Google it, get creative and find what works for your children.  There are many creative ways out there for you to be successful in educating your children.

TCS: Is there anything else that you would like to add?

Amanda:  I would just like to say to the moms out there that every homeschool mom has dark days, and every homeschooler has dark days. There are always many pros to home educating, but as we mentioned before, there are also a few cons.

It cannot only be isolating for the mom but also for the children. Make sure you get them out into the community with other children. Do not be afraid to hear the popular phrase, “Don’t your children have any school today?” or “Why aren’t they in school?” You will definitely get that often. If asked, I just say they are here learning economics or it is a field trip. You do not have to answer to strangers or naysayers.

You will get a lot of people saying you are not qualified to do this, you are not educated enough to do this, or even you do not have a teacher’s degree. My advice to you after personally experiencing a lot of hurt is you do not owe anyone an explanation for how you are choosing to raise your children.

Find out why you decided to home educate your children. Is it because of that scripture verse, “Train up your children in the ways of the Lord and they shall not part”? Is that your why? Or is your why because you are homeschooling special needs children and the school system is just not equipped to set them up to succeed?

Know why you are doing this and have a really solid reason in your heart. So when it is storming in February and the children are going stir crazy because they haven’t left the house in a while, you need to remember that why. In those dark moments, your why is what will sustain you and carry you through this.

This interview article has been written by homeschooling staff writers of The Canadian Schoolhouse (TCS). Enjoy more of our content from TCS contributors and staff writers by visiting our Front Door page that has content on our monthly theme and links to all our content sections.