February 7, 2024 – What About the Homeschool Dad?

Heather Vogler

Supervisor Wasn’t in the Job Description

Before kids, I could keep a house clean, organized, and orderly. Staying on schedule was easy. Laundry was a breeze, and finding time for my husband wasn’t challenging. After two kids I could still shift tasks around to ensure the household was meeting my standards. Though stressful at times, I could manage. Yet, once number three came along, I could no longer keep up with my expectations. Something had to give. I had to let go of control. I knew how I wanted to run the household and how I wanted our homeschool to look, but I couldn’t do it all. This is where the Lord stepped in and taught me the importance of 1 Corinthians 12:14, “For the body is not one member, but many.” 

Homeschooling is not a one-man show. We need each other, and when it came to homemaking and homeschooling, I needed my husband. With five children now in the home, my husband has learned how to walk out his God-ordained role as leader of the home—and I have learned to let him.  

Once I asked for help and invited my husband into our homeschooling world, he became a steady pillar we could lean on during the difficult days. Though not involved in the day-to-day instruction, he can see what is working and what isn’t. He steps in, offering an easier way. He sees what I miss. He looks at the homestead chores that need to be attended to and he assigns the children specific tasks. He sees which chores are overwhelming me and creates a simple schedule for the kids to follow to make sure they are covered. He researches learning challenges and struggles I am having with different kids after work, with me, so I can implement new techniques and ideas with new zeal and fervor because I know he is behind me, rooting me on. 

Though supervisor wasn’t initially in the homeschool dad job description, my husband has learned its importance and guides us well.  

About the author

Heather, her husband, and five kids homeschool and homestead in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia. In addition to writing on her blog, Thrift Schooling (ThriftSchooling.com), Heather has been published in several magazines including Focus on the Family, War Cry, and Brio. Heather holds a BA in Christian ministries and currently works in the marketing department of The Old Schoolhouse®.

What About the Homeschool Dad?

My youngest of four quipped after reading my Instagram bio (Truthseeker, Husband, Father, “Home Educator,”), “Dad, you’re not a “Home Educator!” Mom did all the work!”  

His remark revealed he had no clue what my role was. With insistence I responded, “I’m like a general contractor building a house!”  Maybe nobody saw me lift a hammer or latch on a tool belt, but home education defined me. Am I wrong? If a dad speaks in the middle of a forest with neither wife nor child around to hear, . . . is he still wrong?  

My wife did all the heavy lifting with the education of our children. Two of them can make the keys fly off a piano. My oldest daughter graduated summa cum laude with an “MRS” degree from Liberty U. Daughter #2 graduated 5th in her class from West Point (2023). The Army is paying her to go to medical school. Daughter #3 is earning her four-year college degree in only two years, maintaining a 4.0 GPA.  My 16-year-old son is a Captain in the Civil Air Patrol and already knows how to fly an airplane.  My role has been to expect, support, and applaud the accomplishments of my wife and children.  I’m always telling people that I’m pretty sure my kids got my brains, because my wife definitely still has hers. 

What about me?  I will call myself a “Home Educator” until I’m dead. So, is my job “complete” or am I “finished?”  There’s a big difference between the two concepts–marry the right woman and you are “complete.”  Marry the wrong woman and you are “finished!”  Guess what I did!

**Did I mention that I funded the purchase of Christ-Centered Phonics and my wife produced four biblically-literate, self-learning readers before they turned five years old?

Coach Bobby Grete, CEO

www.christcenteredcurriculum.com

(Deuteronomy 6:6-9)

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Todd Wilson

Homeschool Dads Need Grace

As I talk to dads about their teenagers who are giving them fits, their wives who don’t seem to think like them, and the deceptively deadly pull of success that beckons to them every day, I see the tiredness in their eyes and hear the emotion in their voices.

I listen to them talk and nod my head in understanding until they finish. Then in a gentle but firm voice, I say, “Man, I know exactly how you feel, but . . . you ‘da dad. You may feel like giving up, but your family is counting on you. You can’t give up on them. Get back in there, because, although they may say harsh things . . . they still need you.”

They sigh, stiffen their chin in determination, and nod in agreement. “You’re right, Todd,” they say. “Thanks for the reminder.”

Over and over, I watch men walk away, determined to give it another shot.

I can’t help but think of that old Paul Newman movie, Cool Hand Luke. It’s about a guy who winds up in an old Hogan’s Hero-like chain gang and repeatedly tries to escape. It’s not one I’d recommend seeing, but one scene has been replaying in my mind this past week.

Cocky Paul Newman arrives at the prison camp and is challenged by the biggest guy (probably named Moose, Big Al, or something like that) in jail to a fistfight. Everyone knows Paul will be knocked out cold in the first round but, to the surprise of everyone, he just won’t go down.

He smiles, gets pounded to the ground, and then staggers up to get knocked down again. Eventually, even the big guy feels sorry for him and begs him to stay down . . . but he won’t. You think his dusty and bruised body is incapable of moving at all when he drags himself to a standing position and lifts his hands to defend himself . . . again.

Ladies, that’s your man. He gets pummeled, whomped on, yelled at, and spit on but . . . he’s just too committed (or too stupid) to give up. He loves you, your family, and his role as dad (even though sometimes he doesn’t act like it). So . . . give him some extra grace today, smile at him, and remind him again that you’d choose him in a heartbeat.

Be Real,
Todd

About the author

Todd Wilson is a husband, dad, grandpa, writer, homeschool conference speaker, and former pastor. Todd’s humor and down to earth realness have made him a favorite speaker all across the country and a guest on Focus on the Family. As founder of The Familyman and The Smiling Homeschooler, his passion and mission are to remind moms and dads of what’s most important through weekly emails, podcasts, seminars, and books that encourage parents. Todd, and his wife Debbie, homeschool four of their eight children (the other four are homeschool graduates) in northern Indiana and travel America in the Familyman Mobile. You can read more at www.familymanweb.com.

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Hal and Melanie Young

The Changing Role of the Homeschool Dad

When we started homeschooling (back when books were copied by hand while fighting off dinosaurs), surveys told us that something like 96% of homeschool instruction was provided by the mothers–and nearly all of them were the stay-at-home sort.

Our homeschooled kindergartner now has a doctorate and kids of his own–and a lot has changed in our community! For one thing, a lot of moms have found new ways to work from home, whether remotely for a traditional corporation, or as part of the “gig” economy. A lot of dads have found similar freedom, to work from home or go freelance rather than fill out timesheets.

So, we meet a lot more homeschooling dads who are also the teachers in their homeschool–and a lot of homeschool moms who find themselves busier than ever on non-educational concerns.

So, what would we say to homeschool dads these days?

Some of the advice hasn’t changed, it just looks different. For example, no matter who does most of the spelling and math lessons, both parents need to be on the same page. Talk together about how your homeschool project is going–what’s good, what needs help? It shouldn’t be “Mom’s homeschool” or “Dad’s homeschool,” but “our family’s homeschool.”

Dad, if Mom is getting busy on a new WFH venture, she may really need your help covering everything–whether it’s more of the housework or more of the teaching. It’s not unusual for dads to pick up some subjects–Bible, science, and algebra are common if Mom is more of the liberal arts type–but guess what? If Dad is the main instructor, he might appreciate help with subjects he didn’t love in school, too. As long as you agree this is a project of our family, the way the two of us are training and discipling our children together, then it reduces the chance of misunderstanding or resentment. The prophet Amos asked correctly, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?”(Amos 3:3), and when we are walking together as husband and wife, that agreement is really important!

About the author

Hal and Melanie Young have been homeschooling almost as long as they’ve been married, and they’re still happy with both decisions! They wrote My Beloved and My Friend: How to Be Married to Your Best Friend without Changing Spouses to encourage their young adults – find out more at raisingrealmen.com.

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Kent Babbey

Dad, God’s Got You!

We interrupt this transmission to homeschool moms with an important message for homeschool dads . . .

Hey, Papa! Can we talk—man to man? I want to encourage you as a homeschool dad. I know you can’t be there for all the classes, but you play a vital role in your children’s education, and there are three subjects God has given you to teach your kids.

1. Teach them God’s Word. Treasure the Bible as the most important book in your home. Tell the stories. Teach the commandments. Study the Scriptures. Introduce your children to Jesus, and encourage them to follow Him as their Lord and Saviour.

2. Teach them to work. If possible, take them to your place of business and let them see what you do all week to provide for the family. If you have a special skill or trade, pass that along to them; it will serve them well in the future.

3. Teach them how to be a man of God. Even the girls? Especially the girls! Model how a real man respects his wife. Show them that a strong man is a gentleman. Teach your son to be a man of God like you, and teach your daughter to find a man of God like you. Say with the apostle Paul, “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1 ESV).

You’ve got this, Dad, because God’s got you! As the spiritual head of your home, you are your kids’ most important teacher on spiritual matters. But know this: you will never be their favorite teacher; that will always be Mama.

We return now to our regularly scheduled programming . . .

Kent Babbey
Ontario, Canada

About the author

Kent Babbey works for The Old Schoolhouse® as a marketing specialist. He and his wife Katie live in Southwestern Ontario and are homeschooling parents of four children. Kent is also a pastor who enjoys serving churches with interim ministry.

Pillar of Faith

Natalie Mack

What About the Homeschool Dad?

I remember as a new mom anxiously watching as my husband bathed our first child.  I knew she was safe, but the process is what concerned me the most. How would he bathe her? Would he be careful to use the right baby soap? God soon quieted my concerns and the fact that she didn’t drown helped quite a bit too.

Even as I share my story in jest, I am reminded that dads play a vital role in our homeschooling families. Fathers led by the Spirit of God won’t go astray. 1 Thessalonians 2:11-12 reminds us “for you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory (NIV).”

Yes, dads are often the financial providers, but one of their most life-changing roles is spiritual leader of the home, modeling the love of Christ to their families.  3 John 1:4 states, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth (NIV).”

About the author

Natalie Mack is a National Certified Counselor, author, TEDx speaker, and experienced twenty-three years military home educator, with over twenty-two years of service to military homeschooling families and military homeschool support group leadership. She is known for her words of encouragement and advocacy for homeschooling, particularly during the journey from high school to college. Natalie is a mom of five: three college graduates, one college senior, and an 11th grader.

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