May 10, 2023 – Help When Special Needs Are Hard

Hey, Mama!

Gena Suarez, Publisher of TOS

God Will Bring You Through This

Hey Mama,

What a trial you have been going through—it can feel all-consuming and unjust, yet you know the Lord has allowed it for a purpose. God’s Word says the Christian will encounter many trials before He returns. In these, He grows and strengthens our character, works all things out for our good, and is glorified through our perseverance.

At the end of this trial, you want to be found faithful; you get that. So you pray, you cry out to Him, you read His Word, you surround yourself with godly counselors, and you try and keep your eyes off the problem and on the Lord. It’s not perfect, but it’s intentional effort, and it is good. He honors your desire to be faithful to Him.

But here’s the question, what will you say at the end of this thing? When the Lord (again, for the millionth time in your life) works it all out and it is done, and you have seen His hand in ways that seem miraculous, what will you say?

Mama, don’t let it be that you have to chide yourself for unbelief. Instead, let it be a victorious cry from the heart: THANK YOU, Lord. I knew you would come through! I knew you had ALL of this under control. I knew you were and are a JUST GOD.

This is especially important when you have children with special needs. It can be easy to doubt God’s plan when your child struggles in school and in life. It can be demoralizing and exhausting. But we must remember, God will get us through it.

These articles from The Old Schoolhouse® Magazine can also offer some reassurance:

Is Special Needs Homeschooling Possible? by Heather Laurie
Successfully Homeschooling a Child with Special Needs, by Dianne Craft
Why Homeschool Children with Special Needs? By Rebekah Wilson

You see, this life is just a test. It is temporary. It is the one before the REAL adventure begins—eternity. And you are passing these tests. These trials are working out exactly what God had planned for us. You, Mama, are bringing Him glory with your life.

And your children are watching. They see the pain and how you have been responding. They see what you are enduring. They see your grace. They see your integrity. God sees it, too. And you will be blessed.

“The righteous who walks in his integrity—blessed are his children after him!” Proverbs 20: 7,11, ESV.

His hand is still on your head today.

~gena

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Todd Wilson

Familyman Ministries

Enjoy Your Child; Don’t Compare

I’m not even going to pretend to offer any advice about special needs children. I know that if you have a special needs child then you’ve researched, asked questions, sought the advice of experts, and possibly even beat yourself up at times wondering what you could do to “change” that child.

But I will offer this: no matter what your child is or isn’t, they still need you to love and enjoy them. Sometimes “schooling” gets in the way of that. Fixing them gets in the way of that. It’s easy to forget that God made your child exactly the way He wanted him to be . . . and He’ll complete what He started.

Here’s my advice. Keep plugging away. Don’t compare your kids or your situation to others. Listen to our podcast with special needs expert DIANNE CRAFT . . . and keep smiling.

Be real . . . always real,
Todd

About the author

Todd Wilson is a husband, dad, grandpa, writer, homeschool conference speaker, and former pastor. Todd’s humor and down to earth realness have made him a favorite speaker all across the country and a guest on Focus on the Family. As founder of The Familyman and The Smiling Homeschooler, his passion and mission are to remind moms and dads of what’s most important through weekly emails, podcasts, seminars, and books that encourage parents. Todd, and his wife Debbie, homeschool four of their eight children (the other four are homeschool graduates) in northern Indiana and travel America in the Familyman Mobile. You can read more at www.familymanweb.com.

Our Success Series courses are high school math courses designed to help students with learning challenges remove math anxiety, rebuild confidence, and work independently. www.denisonalgebra.com.

Adam and Dianne Riveiro

My Shepherd Will Supply My (Special) Needs

FACT: Being a special needs parent is hard.

I understand parenting any child is difficult. But, as the father of three neurotypical children and one special needs child with an alphabet soup of diagnoses, I can testify that having a special needs child adds a layer of seemingly non-stop complications and difficulties that can feel overwhelming at times.

In seasons when being a special needs parent seems especially taxing, a well-meaning soul will say something like: “God will never give you more than you can bear.” While those words can be comforting, they’re simply not true. God routinely gives us trials and difficulties that are far greater than we can bear.

“But, but,” you may be thinking, “isn’t that verse in the Bible?” Believe it or not, no matter how many times you’ve repeated it to other people (and there was a time in my life when I did as well), it’s not found in the Bible either in word or in principle.

Surprised? A bit angry? I understand if you feel that way! I only say these things to you because I want to offer you true encouragement—the kind of encouragement that is both supportive and scriptural. And that’s this . . .

God routinely gives us trials and difficulties that are far greater than we can bear… so we can give those burdens back to HIM.

Now this is true encouragement! Christ, the Burden Bearer, can take the great heartaches and difficulties of this life, and He desires to carry them on our behalf. In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus implores us, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Special needs parent: there’s always going to be another battle, another doctor’s appointment, or another unknown in your future. Instead of merely telling yourself “I can bear it,” instead admit, “I can’t bear it” and run straight into the loving arms of the One Who can!

-Adam

About the author

Pastor Adam and Dianne Riveiro live in Easton, Massachusetts, where Adam leads Liberty Baptist Church. They’re the authors of several books, including Hope from Our Heart to Yours: A 30-Day Devotional Journey for Special Needs Families, available from their family’s publishing label at www.readyscribepublications.com. They have four children: Bethany, Kaylee, AJ, and Peyton. They’re passionate about helping their fellow special needs families find joy and contentment in Christ.

Roger Smith

Pillar of Knowledge
Roger Smith – Delight in Disorder

“Special Needs” is a nice way of saying, “I’ve got more than I can handle!” When faced with a child that does not meet expectations, parents need RELIEF! Relief = New expectations.

I’m now looking back on the childhood of my adult children and can see that their “difficulties” were part of the wonderful fabric of their person—an essential part of them that makes them most useful. My expectations for them were rooted in MY design for them, and I needed to trust the Master designer.

Your child was “created for good works that were prepared beforehand, that he should walk in them.” (Eph. 2:8-9) The total package is good, and whatever is seen as a flaw today will one day become an essential part of the design that enables him to walk his path.

Dream with your child, not of being better, but of making an impact! Accept the “flaw,” not as a mistake, but as an intentional design that has a good purpose! (Discover it!)

Look beyond the disorder to the life purpose. It can help you find DELIGHT in the disorder of your child and help you to find joy (and hope) in the journey with him.

About the author

Dr. Roger Smith is a family doctor in rural Louisiana, where he and his wife, Jan, raised four adventurous children who are all grown, making their own mark in the world. He speaks and writes on parenting issues and produces brief videos that can be found on Facebook @ParentingMattersNow

Am I qualified to educate my child who has special learning challenges? If you’ve asked yourself this question, then read more on the You Can Homeschool Your Special Needs Child parent resource at SchoolhouseTeachers.com. This helpful information will encourage you that you can homeschool your special learner. Learn the terminology and basics of educating a child who has unique learning needs.