October 18, 2023 – Raising Boys; Raising Girls

Hey, Mama!

Gena Suarez, Publisher of TOS

Boys and Girls Both Need a Savior

Hey, Mama.

I had a big old passel of kids: four boys and three girls. They are so different! Then again, they are so similar. In fact, one of my grown son’s best friends is his married-with-three-kids sister. They looked alike growing up, and they still look alike. 

When I was pregnant with each of the seven of them, it got to the point I could almost “tell” what I was having. The boys made me eat too much processed junk; the girls kept me eating a healthy diet of cabbage and salmon. With a boy, I wanted Taco Bell all day long; with a girl, I hated lettuce. I could not even be around the smell of lettuce until about three months after she was born.

Yet, there was one thing that was the same in all of those kiddos because of this world we live in and its fallen state: children have sin natures, just like their parents do. With each and every one of them, we had to teach them God’s Word throughout their childhoods. We had to instill in them a Biblical worldview. We answered questions, had “heart talks,” and discipled them the best we knew how. It all came down to Who God is and what His Word says. We need a Savior.

They need a Savior, and so do we. And only One great God can fit that need: Jesus. He is the only One we can turn to as our Redemption, to stand before us and beside us on that Day. He is our Rock in this life and our Brother in the one to come. He is our Family. Our children needed to hear that often and watch us model our own need for the Savior. Did we do that perfectly? Of course not. I am so thankful for a merciful Lord. It is all in His hands.

Now I have grandkids. My social media hashtag is #MumsieLand because I like being a Mumsie even more than I do a Mama. I love both roles, actually. And to be honest, being the mother of adults is precious to me.

When Paul and I were new parents, we learned quickly that when our children reached the toddler years, we’d better uphold a standard—and it needed to be a Biblical one. And we were not going to drop that standard, no matter the cost. Sadly, we see a lot of that today, where an adult child or teen abandons the faith—and then the parents do as well! I kid you not; I have seen it over and over again, and it’s heartbreaking. The parent could not bear to speak plainly and risk the relationship. That would be too painful. But my children’s souls are more important than my temporary pain. Duty-bound to God, you cannot modify His commands.

Keep the bar high, Mama. When we consider Who created the “bar,” how can we lower it? That would be unauthorized compromise. His Word is the bar. I have no right to change it. I cannot reduce its meaning in any way—no matter what.

You can’t just “wing it” as a parent. I mean, God certainly shows us grace, and in His great mercy, He teaches us continuously and works all things for good because we love Him. He loved us first, after all. Sanctification is all about that, anyway: growing in Christ. And the parents advance and mature in the Lord right along with their children; God is sanctifying us all if we are in Him. 

Enjoy your children. Point them to the Lord. Whether male or female, they were planned by our great God and Savior, and He doesn’t make mistakes. Eagerly, help them pursue their passions, show enthusiasm for their many interests and joys, and recognize this very short window of time for what it is: a gift. Don’t squander it. 

And as you lift your children’s eyes to the One who is mighty to save, rest in Him because after all, it is He who does the work. He saves. Whisper that as you go about your day. Rest in that short statement, confident in the truth that He has your children in His hand—which by the way, is on your head today. He saves.

~gena

Raising Real Men

Hal & Melanie Young, RaisingRealMen.com

Homeschool Your Boys and Girls Differently

We had six boys. In. A. Row. Then two girls. So, we’ve thought a lot about the difference between raising–and homeschooling—boys and girls. This seems to surprise our culture, but boys and girls really are different. Of course, there are quiet, cautious boys and bold, adventurous girls—we shouldn’t forget that–but God made two different genders and that affects us as their parents and teachers.

Girls tend to like a warm, softly lit, nurturing learning environment, for example, while boys tend to prefer a cool, brightly lit, exciting learning environment. How can you meet their needs when you have both, though? Perhaps give your daughter a lap blanket and make sure you speak gently when you are talking about school. For your boy, give him a lamp right next to him and maybe a fan and be sure to gin up some enthusiasm when you discuss math. (The origins of the term “gin up” are really interesting if you want to look them up!)

Boys struggle with sitting still for long periods more than girls do. Getting your guys up and moving around actually helps them learn better, research shows. It’s tempting to say, “Okay, focus! We just have two more subjects!” but you’ll both enjoy those two subjects more if you let him jump on the mini-trampoline first.

Boys develop small motor skills later than girls and big motor skills earlier. That means your little boy is going to struggle with handwriting a lot longer than your little girls. Consider doing work orally as much as possible so that he doesn’t get discouraged and lose his love of learning.

The differences between boys and girls affect our homeschooling and our parenting. If you need encouragement, boy moms and dads, get the free download, “Teaching Your Boys to Love Reading and Writing,” read one of our all-time favorite blog posts, “Dear Mama to Boys,” and get our book, Raising Real Men. Use the coupon code THMBOYS20 to get 20% off the book – just for The Homeschool Minute readers!

Your friends,

Hal & Melanie

About the author

Hal & Melanie Young are the award-winning, best-selling authors of Raising Real Men, No Longer Little, and Love, Honor, and Virtue. They are publishers, writers, bloggers, and popular conference speakers internationally, known for their Christ-centered focus and practical, real-life stories. They are the parents of six real boys (five grown!) and two real girls and live in noisy, messy happiness in North Carolina.

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Heidi Mosher

Boys and Girls Are the Same, but Different

I’ve noticed a funny difference between raising boys and girls—food. My boys devoured it at every chance (especially during the middle school years when they couldn’t last 45 minutes between snacks—even snacks with protein). My girls didn’t care to snack much, but they loved prepping food (especially when given free range of the kitchen with each other or a friend).

I’ve witnessed many other differences in raising boys vs. raising girls. The boy vs. girl differences were noticeable already before birth. I was sick almost the entire time I was expecting each girl. I was sick for exactly the first 12 weeks of pregnancy for each boy. But my boys and girls all arrived early.

Even before they were walking, my girl babies naturally knew what to do with dolls. Before age one, my boy babies each showed a strong curiosity towards anything with wheels. Amazing! But my boys and girls were all eager to play, especially with me.

My neighborhood friend and I marveled at the structural differences in “paw” size between my son and her daughter who were very close in age. I noticed that size difference over and over when my kids were with their peers. The girls had such tiny hands and feet; the boys’ hands were enormous by comparison. But both my boys and girls held my hand any chance they got when they were young.

As we homeschooled, I noticed more differences. The girls were content to sit and learn, the boys couldn’t sit still and preferred to learn by doing and moving. The boys found spelling frustrating and useless; the girls actually enjoyed it. The boys preferred science. But my boys and girls all learned best when they were well-fed and rested, and when we invested a few minutes of fun and connection into our relationships before starting the school day.

So, who is easier to raise: boys or girls? Well, girls are pretty easy if you just give them a listening ear. And boys? You guessed it. What they really want is food, frequently. But boys and girls are both absolutely wonderful.

About the author

Heidi Mosher is the mother of four—two boys and two girls. Two have brown hair, and two are blonde. Two are adults, and two are still homeschooled. Two recently moved out of state, and two still fill her home. But all four will always fill her heart. 

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